My personal... "young in recovery story"

[AmyC]

I know for me, that being young in recovery has not been very easy.

I grew up around the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous... always the child in the back of the room coloring and excited to circle up at the end because i knew the prayers...

I came to NA for the first time for myself when i was 15... I struggled a lot with questions like "am i really an addict this young?" "What will happen when i turn 21?" and "Why are there no other addicts in recovery my age?"

I heard things in meetings from older people who said "I wish i would have gotten clean at YOUR age." "You have your whole life ahead of you" "I've spilled more than you drank" All these things kept me seperated from the unity that i needed to hear... but being young in recovery... we ALL hear them!! so you're not alone, i just smile and silently flip them off in my head... JK

I stayed clean until i was 19 years old.... even with all the "old farts" in the room, i took their suggestions and worked the program to the best of my ability. Meetings daily, Sponsorship, Step work, literature and prayer.
It was a relationship that took me back out and a traumatic situation that happened in that relationship.
What kept me out was all those same questions that i had had when i was 15..... "I'm too young" I told myself.... "I have my whole life to get clean."
Those such thoughts kept me in active addiction and sick. Everything that i had gained in those 4 years of recovery were lost and i lost more and more of myself as years gone by.
I made a couple other feeble attempts at getting clean but never quite surrendered like i thought i had that first time.

Now at the age of 25 I am back in recovery.... active addiction took me wayyyyy further than i thought that it would and it really kept me longer than i wanted to stay.
I no longer fight the question of "am i an addict".... now i know.
AND... i know that i belong!!!
NA doesn't discriminate on age... this i am sure of, i was sure of that when i got clean the first time at age 15. I had found many many addicts with long term clean time who had gotten clean while they were teenagers... My sponsor that i have now got clean when she was 18 and now has 9 yrs clean, another family friend who has 26 yrs clean, came into the rooms of NA when she was 18... there's a lady in CA with over 30 yrs clean who came into the rooms of NA at 13.
SO.... i learned that it is only me who keeps myself "seperated" by age and in judgement of others. NA works for all of us, even if we didn't lose husbands, wives, houses or children due to using... WE ALL BELONG!!! and WE are not alone in Narcotics Anonymous... no matter what.

Whomever reads this, I hope you find what i've found in NA and that you stay... because you matter, we all matter! And NA works for ANY addict who want's to "find hope, lose the desire to use drugs, and find a new way to live"
Thanks
Amy  

[Gemm]

  Amy and I'm so glad you found your way back to us. Too many addicts that have relapsed haven't made it back alive. In the years I've been here and seen addicts come and go I've learned that there is no such thing as: too ... (young, old, rich, poor, .....) to be an addict. Addiction is the only true equal opportunity employer, and anyone who says being an addict isn't work hasn't become an addict, yet. Thank you for sharing your story with us.

 

[T]

Hi my name is tim

i am 25 years old and an addict,i had 6 months clean but started relapsing around 3 or so months ago. i have been able to stay clean for like a week or two at most then will relapse again. i have just started a new job and am so scared of losing due to my addiction. this new job is in a small town where the name of the game is booze and drugs. there is only two meetings a week here and i dont really have anyone to talk about my addiction. the previous job i had i lost in september last year due to my addiction and i see myself doing the same thing with thisa job if i am not carefull.

being 25 and being an addicted is hard when all i know is the what will eventually be my biggest down fall. i am struggling and need help. thank you for your story though,it is an inspiration and lets me know it can be done.

thank you for letting me share my thoughts.

tim

[lindylou]

Welcome Tim! I wanted to tell you as one 25 year old addict to another that recovery is possible and support is a huge key. The people in na recovery have been (and are) an amazing support for me through the ups and downs of staying sober and I know they will be for you too! 

[T]

Thank you for your words,i do believe it is possible but as we have bot said support is key and being 25 it is hard. I am ready to hand over and give my recovey the chance it deserves. i hope to stay in touch and chat more as time goes on. whrere are you from? its great to speak to other addicts first of all and second to those who are the same age as me. ONE DAY AT A TIME.....!

[AmyC]

  home Tim.

Glad you found us here online... it is a huge support for me 24/7, this Forum as well as the chat room at www.na-recovery.org.
There are other young people in recovery, we are not alone.
This i am sure of, i mean as members in our chat room, i can easily name at least 5 who are 25yrs old and show up regularly wanting and seeking recovery.

We have meetings every night of the week at 10pm EST online.  Hope you come and share your experience, strength, and hope with us!!
Looking forward to getting to know you more!
Keep comming back
AMy

[Kat]

Thank you for sharing your stories with us, Amy and Tim.  I am so glad Amy started this topic!  It is so good to have young addicts finding recovery, leaving more years for living a good life in recovery!  I am proud of both of you!  Keep coming back!

I am 42, personally, and I can still relate to your story, and I bet you could relate to mine, but I understand what you mean, Tim, about finding addicts your own age that are succeeding in recovery.  It is that extra boost of "hey, maybe I CAN do this." that you might need to get things rolling.  I welcome you wholeheartedly!   

[T]

Yes i would really like to share my story and get more addicts my age to get into recovery as i know the struglle us young people have with this disease of addiction as well as addicts of any age. i hope my story get to you still suffering addicts and that we can recover together.

the last week has been a good week for me and i am feeling more and more positive every day. i realise more and more each day that i stay clean that it can be done and that there is a better life out there for us other than the dark and lonely one of active addiction.

i am happy to be aaprt of recovery around the world and i hope to talk to anyone who is willing to listen, share and embrace this new life.

by the grace of god that i am clean today. one day at a time.....

tim

[lindylou]

T--

I'm Lindy addict from Portland Oregon. Nice to meet you! Hope to see you in na chat or you can always find me here on the forum if you need to chat or have someone listen If you are having a rough time too there is a section here on the forum called 'recovery games and humor' and it has a topic for 'gratitude lists'. I've just started posting things I'm grateful for when I wake up in the morning and am stuck in the negative Im-thinking-about-using-mode. It has really helped me being able to think of positive thing when I'm down so I have been suggesting writing out those lists to everybody Definately check out all of the topics especially if you arent around your computer too much for chatting--they are great ways to help keep on track with staying clean!

Chat with ya soon!

[lindylou]

Okay seriously how did I end up with a birthday cake in the middle of my sentence LOL? Well in that case.... NA BIRTHDAY CAKE FOR EVERYONE!! 

[Kat]

I love you Lindy!   

[T]

good morning all,

its about 8.30am here and i am at work. i had a good weekend for the most part but for the weekends are always the hardest time to deal with. something just goes off in my addict brain on a friday after work and it says, ok time to party! im not sure if anyone else feels like this,but its always important to keep yourself safe on the weekends, let people know what your doing and where you are,always have someone to call or talk to!
 anyway i got through the weekend which i am pleased about.

for some reason i also struggle to get up in the mornings, like this morning for example my first though when i opened my eyes was to just go in late to work and sleep more,even though i wasnt coming down or hung over, i dont know why i have these type of thoughts because when i just get up and dont think too much about it i fel great by the time i get to work and am happy to be here.

its werid,i think i do struggle with depression some times, even though i tell myself i am happy and ok,some of the time i just push my real emotinos and feeling down and just dont deal with them. THe only way i know how to deal with them is to drink and drug,and now that i not using it is one of the hardest thingsd to deal with, my emotions especially when they are negitive ones. Even when they are happy and good i still sometimes say to myself,well i have a good day why not celebrate with a drink or whatever....Us as addicts feel emotion 10 fold compared to others wether it be good or bad emotions.this for me is a very hard thing to deal with.

Anyway i feel better know that i have talk about what is on my mind.

by the grace of god that i am clean today.
one day at a time.

tim

[lindylou]

Hey Tim--

I'm glad you made it through your weekend alright! When I was reading your post I was reminded of a part of the na basic text that I have to re read a lot..mainly because I forget that hangingout with buddies who drink or still use (whatever substance) is putting myself in a risky situation for staying sober you know? Anyways here is the part of that text I was thinking about:

The ultimate weapon for recovery is the recovering addict. We
concentrate on recovery and feelings not what we have done in
the past. Old friends, places and ideas are often a threat to our
recovery. We need to change our playmates, playgrounds and
playthings.
When we realize that we are not able to manage without drugs,
some of us immediately begin experiencing depression, anxiety,
hostility and resentment. Petty frustrations, minor setbacks and
loneliness often make us feel that we are not getting any better.
We find that we suffer from a disease, not a moral dilemma. We
were critically ill, not hopelessly bad. Our disease can only be
arrested through abstinence.

If you havent read the na basic text yet definately check it out! Its an awesome book thats helped me a ton. You can download it for free at:

http://www.naalamedacounty.org/elements/literature/Basic%20Text,%20Narcotics%20Anonymous/Basic%20Text,%20Narcotics%20Anonymous%20-%20NAWS_%20Inc_.pdf

For me I know that now that I'm not using... not covering up or pushing down my emotions anymore.. now FEELING every emotion can be really overwhelming. I've found for me talking to other addicts in recovery or finding a way to get my feelings out in some form (writing it down, venting, drawing, etc) has helped a lot. I'm still pretty new to everything in recovery but I know that really getting involved in na in a face to face situation is best. I have been really bad about getting my butt to mtgs lately but honestly they help with all of these feelings so much! when you arent using anymore there is that empty hole where drugs and drinking were. The only good thing to fill it up with is recovery. REAL recovery. And on that note I think Im going to find a meeting to go to! See! Even writing this stuff out to you has helped me too! Stay strong dude!

[PeytonSawyer]

Thank you for sharing your courageous story.

Safe hugs,
Peyton