I have done much trial and error finding my way in recovery and my experience with relapse mode has been when I become constantly agitated, borderline angry and just not comfortable in any situation. For me this has happened when i back off with my meeting schedule and early on in my recovery it was a daily battle not to isolate! I spent the last 3 years of my using in complete isolation! rarely left my room and never left my house, my shit was delivered right to my bedside. It was a HUGE! problem and daily battle just to get up and go to a meeting then the minute I returned home I struggled to not go to my room and shut the door. As Susan says "Little by slow" I have learned to not! sit alone in my room in fact now my door is always open and I smoke outside! I do not go in there until it is bed time. I would get STUCK! in there for days at a time. Freedom from this is such a huge blessing. I have had my absolute fill of the relapse mode so I do not waver from my regular meetings, service etc. I choose freedom! I have learned what works for me and what does not.
