Hello, my doctor wants me to start talking to people about my addiction and get some sort of therapy. Since I'm not wealthy and just seeing the doctor will sometimes tap my budget we decided that talking to people online would be an acceptable first step. I have gone in person to meetings but I always feel pretty uncomfortable there. I was hoping I could ask a few questions for anyone else who overcame their comfort issues when going to the meetings.
While the people are always amazing and worthy of admiration there are a few things that make me feel uncomfortable and I'd like to know how anyone else deals with the same problems.
First; I'm on an opiate replacement therapy so when they ask at the beginning of the meeting for anyone who used today to leave I always feel like a fraud for staying.
Second; I'm not religious at all, I'm not anti-religious but the constant god talk makes me feel like an alien. I've even had one therapist tell me, "Oh you're atheist? Don't worry I have plans to fix that." Pretty insulting, never had that problem at a meeting but I rarely talk about my feelings on religion because there's literally nothing to talk about

. I wind up tuning out when people are thanking God for accomplishments I believe they achieved on their own and should be proud of.
Third; as an undergrad I got my degree in Biochemistry so I'm always interested in the "why's" and "how's." When people are just talking about how terrible drugs are it seems like a very limited world view considering they are just inert substances and each one is useful for something. Even cyanide and arsenic is used in our society despite their lethal implications.
Anyway, I'm very impressed that NA has something like a %60 success rate and I'm a big fan of the process but if I'm going to get involved in that process I want to be 100% committed not just a passive observer trying to show I'm making progress to an outside observer.
Thank you for reading and I look forward to getting to know each of you, I've had the privilege of meeting quite a few fellow addicts and it seems most of them are genuinely good people trying to overcome our natural biology which is a very difficult undertaking and therefore an admirable attempt to improve ourself.
Take Care,
Joe