Hi, my name is Joe.

[Mat142]

Hello, my doctor wants me to start talking to people about my addiction and get some sort of therapy. Since I'm not wealthy and just seeing the doctor will sometimes tap my budget we decided that talking to people online would be an acceptable first step. I have gone in person to meetings but I always feel pretty uncomfortable there. I was hoping I could ask a few questions for anyone else who overcame their comfort issues when going to the meetings.

While the people are always amazing and worthy of admiration there are a few things that make me feel uncomfortable and I'd like to know how anyone else deals with the same problems.

First; I'm on an opiate replacement therapy so when they ask at the beginning of the meeting for anyone who used today to leave I always feel like a fraud for staying.

Second; I'm not religious at all, I'm not anti-religious but the constant god talk makes me feel like an alien. I've even had one therapist tell me, "Oh you're atheist? Don't worry I have plans to fix that." Pretty insulting, never had that problem at a meeting but I rarely talk about my feelings on religion because there's literally nothing to talk about . I wind up tuning out when people are thanking God for accomplishments I believe they achieved on their own and should be proud of.

Third; as an undergrad I got my degree in Biochemistry so I'm always interested in the "why's" and "how's." When people are just talking about how terrible drugs are it seems like a very limited world view considering they are just inert substances and each one is useful for something. Even cyanide and arsenic is used in our society despite their lethal implications.

Anyway, I'm very impressed that NA has something like a %60 success rate and I'm a big fan of the process but if I'm going to get involved in that process I want to be 100% committed not just a passive observer trying to show I'm making progress to an outside observer.

Thank you for reading and I look forward to getting to know each of you, I've had the privilege of meeting quite a few fellow addicts and it seems most of them are genuinely good people trying to overcome our natural biology which is a very difficult undertaking and therefore an admirable attempt to improve ourself.

Take Care,
Joe

[Sean_A]

welcome Joe so glad you found us. Hang out in channel anytime and start chatting, people are in and out. Also check out the evening meetings 10pm EST...Hugs
 

[Jonny-SK]

Welcome aboard Joe
 I haven't been to a meeting since I was 19 (I'm now 21), but I remember that besides the huge age difference between me and the rest, was also the whole God factor. Even outside the NA meetings I've only come across recoveries who have stayed clean and sober "with the help of God". My assumption was simple; they replaced an addiction with another obsession. Although needless to say, you are surely not alone with your beliefs (or non believes ), opiate replacement therapy while in meetings, and so on and so on. My final sentence to you; don't hesitate opening up to the rest at your in-person NA meeting's, judgment and shunning are the last to cross our minds

[rider]

Welcome Joe !

[Gemm]

Hey Joe - Welcome

Unease at meetings is so common it is almost universal. The only way I know of getting over that is to just keep going. Perhaps go a bit early and talk one-to-one with whomever is there and perhaps even early enough to help set the meeting up. I found that I felt a lot more a part of when I was invested in the meeting in some way. Early on I also heard something that helped -- go to meetings until you want to go then just keep going because you want to go.

God -- I too had a problem with that concept. I've heard a lot of ways to look at it rather than the religious sense. Good Orderly Direction and Group Of Druggies are my 2 favorite. In that sense, god helped me too. I am not religious in any sense but through NA have found a spirituality that makes sense and works for me. It doesn't matter what we call that Higher Power talked about in our steps, it just matters that we find something that is more powerful than us and our addiction to help us. NA - group of druggies - is that power for me and many I know.

As for DRT, I really have no experience myself with it but know other addicts who have. In my opinion, an addict who is attempting to stop using is welcome at meetings though I know that belief is not universal. Back to my 1st point about going to meetings early and getting to know a few addicts one-to-one is a good idea. You can "feel them out" on the subject after while and find a few who are willing to work with you and keep that anonymity as well and would be there for you when you decide to get off the DRT as well. I hope this helps and in the meantime, keep coming back both here and to face-to-face meetings.

Yes, drugs can be helpful, in the right context, but for us as addicts, we have to learn how to use them properly, without misusing them. Misuse is our problem and it takes a lot of work on our steps and ourselves to learn how to do that. There is even reference to this in our Basic Text in a couple of chapters. I would recommend that if you don't have one that you get one and start reading as well as going to meetings. Get to know a few addicts and find a sponsor who is willing to work with you even on DRT (they are out there but may be hard to find in some areas). In some areas it may even be possible to find a sponsor who has had DRT themselves.

Good recovery and keep coming back!