- Addicts helping addicts recover - the Narcotics Anonymous way

Recent Posts

Pages: 1 2 3 [4] 5 6 7 8 9 10
General Discussion / Hot Mess
« Last post by SmSilver27 on September 16, 2017, 03:21:27 AM »
I'm currently writing this while I'm coming down. I'm a hot mess these days. About two weeks ago I snitched myself out to my wife of four years. I was hiding my meth use for a good six months. It's ran it's course, and I'm ready to stop, but my addiction is kicking my ass. On Monday morning I have an outpatient intake evaluation, and I'm going to surrender and go all in. I have the fight, but I have nothing to defend myself against this addiction.

During yesterday's meeting, the topic was truth and honesty. Very appropriate considering I've been trying to bullshit myself for the past two weeks. But the truth is I can't kid myself. I love using, I do. I'm that insane. The crazy part is that I really do want to stop, but every time I look outside in my driveway, there's my addiction. He's on steroids, doing push ups, just waiting to kick the shit out of me every time I step out the door. And dammed if I don't have a weapon to use against him. Not a bat, a knife, or even a gun to shoot his ass down. All I have is my sucked in, 5'7, 175lbs frame trying to throw hay makers. He's even made the dope house convenient. On my way to, and from work. What a dickhead.

I thought I had killed the beast within 11 years ago, but I only wounded him. I used from the ages of 16 to 26 before I bottomed out and got help. I was clean for 10 and a half years before I got hurt. Life was great. I met my soon to be ex-wife, and carved out a decent life with her. I hadn't thought about using at that point in well over 8 years. I'm an out of sight, out of mind user. And I wasn't planning on it either. That's when May 6th, 2016 happened. I was training for a marathon at the time, but this was the day after Cinco De Mayo, and I had no business running that day. But being a knuckle head, I went anyway. I fell, and tore up my hip pretty good. My running days came to an end that day, and soon after came surgery and a prescription to oxy. Truth be told, I let my guard down. I didn't see my addiction standing behind the bushes. I hadn't seen him in over a decade, I didn't recognize him. He jumped out, and sucker punched me in the jaw. He was even kind enough to accompany me to the doctors, and made sure I left with oxy. lol..

I was hooked instantly. I was out of work for 16 weeks, and most of that time was spent taking oxy, and chasing it with tequila. But eventually the doc cut me off, and I was left with my blood itching. Fortunately I was working for a guy who sold both oxy and blow. I was having him deduct his cash from my tips for the pills and blow. Things were better, until that well ran dry. The only thing I could find was heroin or meth. I relapsed, and I've been using since. I feel horrible for hiding this from my best friend. I was quite the responsible tweaker though. My bills never lapsed, and I never spent what I didn't have. I kept it to just the using, but It's still pretty bad. We're separating shortly, and who knows if divorce will happen. All I know is that i'm ready to stop the insanity. I want to be myself again. Even if that means without my wife and kids
Introductions and Celebrations! / Re: new to this way of meetings
« Last post by vito on September 15, 2017, 07:16:51 AM »
hi im new to this also ... in the same boat.,But glad to have aplace to come
Introductions and Celebrations! / court paper signed at online meetings
« Last post by vito on September 15, 2017, 07:14:31 AM »
i am just so happy i have a place to come when IM scared. As I am now. BUT ALSO for meetings I need to have my paper do i go about having this done?
Introductions and Celebrations! / introduce myself
« Last post by vito on September 15, 2017, 06:44:36 AM »
hi im terri-lynne, im an addict. this is my very first post and first time here  not sure what to do but glad i now have a place to do it in instead of elsewhere if you know what i mean
My friend has used meth, pretty much daily, since she was 13. She is now 35. She does claim to have had a 9 month period of sobriety but the story sort of varies, so who knows. She might not even know.

Anyway, she is trying to quit. She went about 24 hours and then used again, one time, and has not used since. I asked her what she thought made her use again, so we could figure away around that trigger. She said it is this "zap" or "misfire" in her head.

I am a drunk who quit 9 years ago, I don't know anything about "zaps" but I can help here figure out how to work her way around triggers.

Is there a vitamin or herbal remedy she can use to stop or lessen the zapping?

What else should I know? Is there like an Quitting Meth 101 book or something. Or a website that is particularly helpful.

She and I are both Christians, she believes God will get her through this. I think God may have put NA meetings there to help him with that but until she sees it that way, all I can do is give her the help that she will allow me to give her.

Anyway, what do I do about "zaps"?

Thank you

Additional information:
I said one time and then quit again. Her regular habit is to use in the morning, on breaks at work, and in the evening.   (I know her through work)
Online Recovery Meetings and Chat / Re: boredom
« Last post by alikat4400 on September 14, 2017, 01:51:52 PM »
oh, so nobody is readiing this????
Online Recovery Meetings and Chat / Re: Chatting of Forum
« Last post by alikat4400 on September 11, 2017, 07:26:42 AM »
I ee this is an old post, but it piqued my curiosity - how you doin?
Online Recovery Meetings and Chat / boredom
« Last post by alikat4400 on September 11, 2017, 07:24:15 AM »
Any practical suggestions on how to deal with boredom? Please don't answer with rhetorical program lingo. :-\
General Discussion / alcohol, peer pressure, and work-parties
« Last post by librarian11111 on September 10, 2017, 09:57:34 PM »
Good evening brothers and sisters!
Last week, I went to an informal work related party/going away party for a co-worker at a nice restaurant/bar.
I didn't expect it--but one of my co-workers (who knows I'm in recovery from pain-pill addiction) asked me if I could have "just one drink." We were there for dinner--but most of my co-workers drank at least a little.
When my co-worker asked me to drink--I just slowly shook my head, saying nothing (I've been told it's easier to deny a request non-verbally than verbally.
Seconds later, another co-worker (the one who is leaving--and who was drinking quite a bit)--said, "I want to see you get f----d up."
I am 49-- the co-worker who wanted me to get "f----" up is 58; and the one who initially asked me to drink "just one" is 64. I guess I didn't expect stupid peer pressure like this from non-teenagers.
At the time, I think I handled the situation well--I never drank anything that night except water. But I wish I had more of an elevator speech of why I'm just-saying-no rather than to say "I'm in recovery" or merely feel intensely uncomfortable. I'm stewing as I type this!
I'm almost 6 months clean-and-sober--but I'm tempted to avoid all work related parties like this in the future (we don't have too many of them).
Any advice?
General Discussion / Re: recovery in a hurricane
« Last post by p1ece0fm1nd on September 08, 2017, 03:22:29 PM »
I am prepared for what's coming our way with Irma.Been saving our gas as my wife has a serious medical condition and need to be ready to travel. So I'm trying this on line N/A way till the storm passes. Looking foward to my first on line meeting tonight .I have my clean time and my higher power to help me through this difficult time. I know that using won't make anything better,just the opposite. So to all my fellow addicts that are in Irma's path,be safe and smart.

Pages: 1 2 3 [4] 5 6 7 8 9 10