NA-Recovery.org - Addicts helping addicts recover - the Narcotics Anonymous way

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61
Ask It Basket / Re: What does the First Step mean to you?
« Last post by hillbilly571 on May 05, 2017, 12:20:07 AM »

that first step means a lot to me. it means that i admitt i have a problem and accept that i have to change the things im doing, then things im thinking, and the people im hanging around. not an easy thing to admitt and take action on. i was used to doing things "my way" but that poinbt came when "my way" just wasn't working out so well anymore. i knew about the program and had been in and out of it several times over the course of several years but never for the right reasons. i wasn't here for ME. i was always here for someone else because they wanted me clean so i ddin't really put much into things and didn't follow the program the wasy its meant, i tried to tailor it to me. needless to say that didn't work out so well and it ddin't take long before i was using again. once i saw that i had a problem and became willing to change and started working the program i began to see progress. and i began to understand the program and the importance of the steps and their order




 hope this helps
Joe
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Chat Room and Website Support / Re: link to new site
« Last post by Lon on May 03, 2017, 12:44:34 PM »
It's a still a work in progress, real life takes precedence once again.
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Ask It Basket / Re: What does the First Step mean to you?
« Last post by recovery on May 01, 2017, 11:59:12 AM »
for me it meant that I couldn't use just one and stop no matter how hard I tried to I proved time and time again that I couldn't. the hard part of step on for me was grasping the fact that I wasn't responsible for the things I did in my recovery but my sponsor helped me see that if I was not getting high I wouldn't have done the things I did to get that fix id didn't matter what drug I used because a drug is a drug and I had to keep that in mind so that I didn't focus on well I didn't do that drug so maybe I am not an addict. I had lost the ability to know how to live in everyday life but  once I got to meetings they started teaching me.

hope this helps
MaryJo
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In or Just Out of Treatment, Rehab, or Prison? / Re: For Those In Treatment
« Last post by recovery on April 29, 2017, 01:17:14 PM »
I wish you luck on your journey of recovery  hope you give yourself a brake  and get to some meetings this is a we program because we need each other because only an addict can understand another addict

with love

MaryJo
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Ask It Basket / What does the First Step mean to you?
« Last post by deadserious007 on April 22, 2017, 10:24:01 PM »
I am two months into my recovery, and am working on my first step. My sponsor gave me an assignment to ask people what the first step meant to them. So I found this forum and am looking for some addicts to share with me for my sponsor work and for personal guidance and understanding.


Look forward to reading your responses


Thank you all very much  :)
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Thanks for sharing, KAT
67
Chat Room and Website Support / Re: link to new site
« Last post by rider on March 24, 2017, 07:52:11 PM »
welcome, my suggestion is getting to a local NA mtg in your area, Your not alone , hug
68
Chat Room and Website Support / Re: link to new site
« Last post by trice on March 24, 2017, 09:49:47 AM »
I am Terry
I am new to all of this. I don't really know what I am doing but I do know that I want to go use right now and I am desparetly trying not to. I just started looking for anyplace or anyone that I could vent to. I do not want to live like this anymore. I ran away from this problem and I thought I had conquered this. Not so, drugs are everywhere and I just didn't know where they were at the time. I know that God put me here for a reason, He has saved me time and time again. I go to school full time and work full time. I have a 4.0 gpa that I will destroy if I don't stop this. I believe with there is something out here I am supposed to be doing and drugs are not a part of that.
Thanks for listening
69
Our Stories / Re: New member frustrated venting.
« Last post by Lon on March 24, 2017, 01:55:22 AM »
ATM..hugs. I gotta point out something that isnt too obvious at first..and we all do it. You are trying to fix your broken brain with the same brain that thinks using was/is a great idea.

Step one; "We admitted we were powerless over our addiction and our lives had become unmanagable."

Meetings sponsor, steps with that sponsor.
70
Our Stories / Re: New member frustrated venting.
« Last post by Atm142 on March 16, 2017, 06:14:26 AM »

Like I mentioned I wanted to work on my anger so I've been thinking about it a lot. What triggers it, where it comes from etc..


I think it all stems from a feeling that pervades my life and even ability to function and that emotion is guilt. I live my life in constant fear of hurting people because the guilt associated with it is too much. At the age of 32 I still don't drive because I'm terrified that I could kill someone.


I have a hard time with employment for the same reasons, this is all despite going to honors classes and at one point being fast tracked through school to earn my MD. Now thanks to my fear of guilt I can't even hold down a crappy job at Dillards.


Here's an example at Dillards. I had been working there for 6 months when I read in the news that a sweatshop in Bangladesh burnt down killing 600 people who were locked inside sewing cushion covers. The next day at work I read the "Made in" labels and sure enough 'Bangladesh.'


I realized that I was perpetuating this god awful system of exploitation and suffering. I tried to suck it up for the next few months but I couldn't sleep, as I laid in bed I'd think about those poor people burning alive in their factory so I could sell furniture and pillows at discount prices. On the rare occassion I did sleep I'd have nightmares I was in the factory itself.


I know that by me quitting won't change anything but at least I can sleep at night and know I was no longer directly contributing to anyone elses misery.


You'd think finding a job that didn't exploit people would be that hard but it is. You can't make a living without taking it from someone else.


WIthout medicine those feelings of guilt are ten times worse and absolutely self destructive. I still beat myself up because I was a bully in middle school to a kid. He and I are amicable friends now but that guilt never goes away. I could be zonked out watching a documentary and all of a sudden it hits me right in the face.


I don't know what to do about it honestly, but I can't keep feeling this way. I go out of my way not to hurt other people or exploit them in any way even if it means suffering myself and when other people exploit me it is a major trigger.


Anyway, I think that if I truly want to get a handle on my anger I'll have to handle my guilt first so that is my focus for now.


Guilt is absolutely a healthy emotion and something you should feel when you do something wrong or hurt someone but at a certain point it only serves to be self-destructive and I've got to figure out a way to cut it off.
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