- Addicts helping addicts recover - the Narcotics Anonymous way

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General Discussion / Re: 20 years in relapse and want recovery again.
« Last post by recovery on February 08, 2017, 02:39:22 PM »
hi you r right about focusing on just staying clean for today  are steps are written in order for a reason if you r not going to local meetings I suggest you do so and get phone numbers and a sponsor
Online Recovery Meetings and Chat / online meeting times? How do I get a sponsor?
« Last post by writter813 on February 05, 2017, 08:11:41 PM »
To all:
When are the online meeting times? Do I need skype (or a certain program) to be part of that meeting?
Also, what can I do to get a sponsor (I feel that's the key to my recovery?)
Regarding who I am, I'm completely new to NA. I've been taking prescription painkillers every other day for about 3 years; and daily the 10 years prior to that (I had undiagnosed sinus problems that triggered a then-legitimate need for painkillers.) I'm 49 years old.
I have a respected doctor prescribing me my pain medicine--but I have no business being on them 3 years after a successful sinus surgery.
Any help is greatly appreciated--and please excuse if I've asked any dumb questions!
General Discussion / Re: 20 years in relapse and want recovery again.
« Last post by ginaleanne on February 05, 2017, 05:26:08 PM »
Sorry didn't mean to click post yet.  Anyway I'm overwhelming myself.  The thing I need to do right now is just concentrate on not using, when I start overthinking things right?
General Discussion / 20 years in relapse and want recovery again.
« Last post by ginaleanne on February 05, 2017, 05:22:47 PM »
My mind is messing me with me telling me why its not possible to get my sobriety back. 
1. My spouse uses
2. I'll have to tell my grown son the truth about my addiction.
Introductions and Celebrations! / Re: New person
« Last post by recovery on January 29, 2017, 02:23:24 PM »
hi Andrea welcome glad you r reaching out if you aren't already I hope you give yourself a break and go to some local meetings if you  need help finding local meetings let us know hope to see you in chat and get to know you more
General Discussion / Changing Sponsors - Need advice
« Last post by jstew318 on January 26, 2017, 09:39:24 AM »
Hello all,

I've had the same sponsor for a year now. We were very close at one point, hanging out, talking everyday, working steps and other assignments. Then something happened between us and my trust went out the door. Kind of wondering if this incident has anything to do with my disgust for the program at the moment, but that is a different story. This all happened about 5-6 months ago. We lost touch for months. Finally I though I had forgiven him, we worked step 2 and the last time I spoke to him was on Thanksgiving. I'm not reaching out, neither is he. I'm intimidated by him, never could really tell him everything, not very comfortable. So this week I met with a guy who I'd like to be my new sponsor, I just don't know how to tell my current one. We've not spoken in 2 months, and I feel the call to tell him it'll will be awkward, not sure what to say due to our past experience together. Wondering if he'll say I'm making excuses. I don't like this kind of confrontation, I don't know how to go about this or what to say. Everyone says, just tell him, he won't care, but I don't think that'll be the case. Any advice on this would be helpful.


General Discussion / Re: Sick of Recovery - how do I get the bounce back in my step?
« Last post by jstew318 on January 26, 2017, 09:32:29 AM »
Thank you for your reply. I met with someone I respect in the rooms the other night for coffee and he's really helped me realize a few things. Not saying that I'm all on board with my meeting attendance, but at least I'm acknowledging my issues. I do like being alone and then I don't. So many feelings run from one spectrum to the other quickly anymore.
Chat Room and Website Support / Re: Chat Room (Flashchat not working)
« Last post by Lon on January 25, 2017, 09:16:01 PM »
Flashchat is back online
General Discussion / Re: Sick of Recovery - how do I get the bounce back in my step?
« Last post by Eggbeater on January 24, 2017, 02:15:49 PM »
I can relate to going through slumps in recovery and not really wanting to be here sometimes.  But the truth is that I don’t do very well on my own.  I need these assholes that I’ve been judging.  When I pull away and I isolate I don’t listen to anyone’s head but my own and that is dangerous for me.  I’ve proven it several times and being a good addict I have taken it to the edge and almost lost my clean time.  Sometimes my disease tells me I different and no one understands me even in NA and then I isolate.  Sometimes I just flat out hate people and I don’t like the way they do things in NA.  But the truth is I have to save my ass and none of my feelings matter if I am dead.  And if I sit in my misery long enough I start to wish I was dead and I act like I am using without any dope in my system.  I have been through this cycle a lot and the way I pull out of it is to seek out a newcomer who needs some support.  Sounds funny but this has yanked me out of myself for long enough to get my priorities straight and appreciate what I have and get my gratitude back.  Helping somebody else has saved my ass more times than I can count even when I feel like I have nothing to offer.  Good luck to youl
General Discussion / Sick of Recovery - how do I get the bounce back in my step?
« Last post by jstew318 on January 24, 2017, 12:18:44 PM »
Here's the skinny...

I'm 37 years old, active in addiction for 23 years. Numerous attempts at getting clean, but never working a program throughout the years. I've always been a successful, likable person. Not much family to speak of, but had a great network of friends back home. Never really alone, always had something to do, someone to hangout with or go places with. Came to a new state 14 months ago to try rehab again for the 7th time. Decided to stay and work a program here. Ended up going through 30 days then onto 60 days of sober living. Got a sponsor, working steps, meetings almost everyday. I even started a meeting here in town that has been flourishing. I landed a supreme, cozy job at a software company, had a decent amount of people in recovery to hang out with. Began studying Buddhism more, mediation and yoga, principals and such. So here I am, almost 18 months clean and totally miserable. To date, I've not talked to my sponsor in about 2 months, he's not reached out to me either. Stopped on the first part of step 3, meeting attendance has dropped to once a week, the meeting I started. No longer want to be the GSR or do h&I, speak or anything. I fell utterly alone. Seems that the recovery community tends to only stay connected with you if you're regularly attending meetings. I've kept 2 close friends in the program since I've been lacking with my attendance. One person has reached out to ask how I've been over the past few months. I'm having a difficult time placing principals before personalities. I'm sad because my friendships that I made here in the rooms aren't strong enough to hold fast unless I'm active in the meeting scene. I was once a pretty popular folk in the rooms here in town. Began really hanging out, but now I stay pretty much alone. It sucks that I have to put all the effort into these friendships and I don't get the same effort in return. I'm starting to judge people, taking a mad inventory of them, accusing them in my mind for using NA as a crutch to not be responsible for their behaviors. Feeling like I have to do this by myself or maybe not at all and just go back out to fill the emptiness again. I had such a loving community, regardless if using was involved. those people back home were genuine friends. No strings attached.  One addict helping another, feeling at home in meetings, all of it is the total opposite of what I'm experiencing now. I want to call out the liars in the meetings that embellish/lie about their drug use, then turn around and share something or post something on social media that is totally ludicrous, because I know they are lying. I'm angry all the time, I'm empty, I no longer want anything to do with this but deep down I know how dangerous that could be. not sure if I should go back home, get my old job back, I don't know. Reality is real to me now. I'm one day not going to be here and that scares me. I'm in a new state and I feel alone in recovery. I feel I can't be honest with my current sponsor, that I can't share my deepest secrets with him. I'm not comfortable and our relationship has taken a hit after another situation he and I went through, but that is a different, non-relevant story. Suggestions welcomed. Thanks!
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